I never wanted everything to end this way

WALALALALA!:DD today rehearsal was good:D finally got t play overture which is shockingly fast:O my left arm is now officially broken:DD Anw was super tired in th morning tht i practically dao-ed everyone:/ Sorry lahh T_T and omg thanks kheehui for th present:DD Love it heh^^

2010 is coming in a few days time:/ Time really flies like some mad cow i swear:O Slow down abit lehhh T_T Anw want t thank these ppl for what they did throughout this year^^

Glenda Goh Zhi Yan, My beloved laoma♥

♥ you load man! You know it too hahaha:D Super sad tht you are no longer in this sch anymore bt nvm we cn always go out:D Just like what we did this year many many times:D Anw thanks for listening t me rant all th time this year, regardless bout what:D Really dont know how t survive w/o your advice lmao^^ And im going t spank you next year if you forget my bday again -GRRR-. Actually i forget what i wantd t say bt anw its all in those convos alr:D MISS YOU ^^

Tan Hsiao Tien, num, laughing-mate, spastacian ♥

Gosh thanks for being there whenever i need you heh:D 3 years of friendship and im still countingggg^^ Dont be so troubled alr heh:D ♥ you more lol for th bus trip just now. Talkd bout everything and i know i cn trust you:D Enjoyed laughing w you all th time cause it lifts my mood:D Thank you!xD (th remaining text is still pending in some other form^^)

Chen Jia Wei, The maddest pig, cabbage♥

Oohlala thanks for being such an awesome friend this year:D Love those times tht we spent tgt, be it just two of us or as a clique:D Would really like t go back and wreak havoc at Kimm's house heh:D You better get over your craze w th ft island cause you know every part of me is way cuter thn them k:D And we are suppose t live on a 3 bucks a day budget t save up for your tee/badge/album and whatever lah! HEEHEE i know you ♥ me alot too:D (say yes if not your snoopy is gone *poof*) MISS YOU LOADS AND LOOK FORWARD T TH NEXT CLIQUE OUTING:DD (you better sit nearer t me next year ><) and i want crap and gossip w you lmao see your retarded actions:O

Ching, The retard♥

WOW this is what i do whenever i see you cause you always manage t make me laugh w your dumbest actions, jokes. OMG im getting fatter and fatter aft eating twice w you lahh:O order so many!! Really cn imagine us lying there and not walking cause too full alr -GRR- You better pay for my slimming sessions^^ Anw thanks for listening t me rant like mad throughout this year heh:D Really love you loads for being there whenever im upset or thinking too much:O hope next year we arent sitting too far:DD Enjoy crapping w you♥ YOU BETTER SMS ME NOW LOL! To claim your 10 million dollar present and those bunch of high quality toilet rolls:D

C, The Pig♥

WA have been ignoring your texts for these few days cause was busy:O Sorry k?:/ Anw thanks for being there and helping me throughout this year:D Those texts cheered me up sometimes^^ and sorry i just digested theodore D;

Kung the gorilla♥

HEYY^^ IM SKINNY PIG LMAO! You are srsly retarded i swear. Stop laughing t yourself pleaseee T_T I abit traumatised lah huh:O Anw thanks for making me insane this year w your crap ^^ Insanely happy w your retardedness so keep it up!:D love you♥

Clique, the crazy pals♥

Chan Shimin you better stop grinning t yourself out of th blue LOL and i know you love him, th one tht is constantly terrorising my dreams:O I shall now officially hand this nightmare t you:DD GOOD LUCK ♥ YOU LOADS:D cant wait t go out w you all^^ (and you owe me a hug^^)

Kimmmmmm Peh you rubbish so busy >< i want wreak havoc in your house one you know?!! FRY ALL TH CHICKEN UNTIL THEIR WINGS DROP OUTTTT WHATTTTTTA! Be more talkative pleasee D;

Mafias!♥

♥ you all loads:D thanks for making shanghai such a memorable place:D Missing you all like crazy. Hope t have an outing real soon and also finish up our rap^^ and i miss ms tan D; and my roomies:/ VERON YOU STILL HAVENT CALL ME AND TALK FOR AN HOUR LEH! AND CHAR TH CROC HEAD/TAIL/BUTT @%@$%#$%

Tong Khee Hui, ♥

WHEE~ will confirm miss those lunches and saturdays w you D; hope we quickly find one more^^ MISS YOU:D (and im definitely th cuter one:DD)

k i think thts all. Sorry if i missed out any cause this is too long lmao. Gosh sleepy now D; Im going t kill kristalynn 2moro for scamming me hmmph! Scare th shit out of me :O

HAPPY BDAY KUNG ANW:DD

hope you like th chicken:DD (cause it sounds like youu)

(L) you loads and you know it:D

I swear th series of nightmares is keeping me awake:/ ohman:/ i need sleep you know. Esp these few days:O anw zisiang and chengyu are crazy... This is th convo where th insanity starts...

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*ZISIANGI

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

*yeah?

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*chengyu vully

*bully

*whack him

*until he promise not t wagtch porn^^

*FROGS ARE NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH K

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

**whack chengyu*

chengyu says:

*OUCHHHHHH

*cryyyyyyy

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

**promise me you wont watch porn!!!!!*

chengyu says:

*yes daddy,

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

**dont ever eat frogs again!!!*

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*-.-

chengyu says:

*LOL.

*frog =  yilin

*so cnt eat

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*EH WLAO

*NO LAHH

chengyu says:

*righttt=D

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*I SO CUTE

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

*huh?

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*LIKE SWAN

*:DDD

Heart... miles and miles of heart (seventh mafia) says:

*LOL

chengyu says:

*like bunny swan

♥uılıʎ (the eleventh mafia)out of eleven paikia says:

*i 2moro bring basket go botanica garden

*catch one home

*simi bunny swan

*swan got ears one meh

WHEE~ Finally went out w jwei today alr. Like at 9am like tht she sms me say she dont need go Sentosa alr^^ thn i was like k meet you at 1230. Super last minute bt hey, we manage t get tickets^^ for th 1pm Alvin and th Chipmunks:D Gosh they are super super cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee^^ Im going t catch them back like what Ian did t them:DD in th show i mean heh. Aft th movie went t buy presents w jwei for her dad and for her party later:DD Super funny cause apparently i was playing w th shrilling chicken in action city thn i press th belly thn it sounds like it is laughing LOL!:D thn i laugh when it laugh and jwei was laughing too k! She tried t hide her laughter hahaha^^ Too bad cause i say th chicken is laughing at you thn she was like TAN YILIN YOU BETTER STOP AR! hahaha^^ so awesome:D {jwei's pet phrase^^} Took train t bb and played hide and seek. Freaking hilarious w th lift incident LMAO! Laugh like mad cause felt super stupid and retarded LOL srsly-.- i think we are mad. HI FIVE CHEN JIAWEI!:D Maddest pig on earth-.- Went home aft tht. Din train w jwei t bishan cause headache:O

Anw I doubt i cn fufil my promise t you tht fast tht i cn pretend nothing happened and be merry w them. Sorry bt just cant. Although i have no idea why bt it just feels weird now. Guess you understand unlike you know. Im trying t go back t normal though it seems weird again. You dont think so much too cause it is not your fault:D i cn assure you on this.

although i knew you were there bt i refuse t acknowledge tht. Im not prepared t face this whole bullshit-.- this is getting way out of control. Too many things happening at th same time is a load of rubbish

I LOVE THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS PARTYYYYY!!:DD gosh th party ytd was greatttt:D 4 plus my cousins came over although only 4 heh. Went down t tour th condo thn playd at 2 playgrounds. Srsly th playgrounds are dangerous:O Practically everyone fell down except me and my sis heehee:D Super retarded cause like 4 of us squeeze on top of th seesaw thn like super creepy cause some ppl are just so heavy -hints hints- heehee. Thn screamed out lungs out cause we were playing tgt some turning thing thn all of us sit on top thn turnd it backwards. Like roller coaster like tht. Playgrounds are not suppose t be dangerous lahh!:P

Aft touring we went t swimmm:D If not for them i think i wont be even touching th pool. Heh no time mahh T_T played ball and dont know what just 2 hours flew past. My aunt was like saying th time tht we took t bathe was longer thn th time we played in th pool hahahaha^^ By th time we went up th buffet was here!! Gosh so many many food until i super hungry alr. Got noodles, curry chicken, sweet and sour fish, broccoli!!, spring roll, dumplings, eclair, icecream puff and fruit punch!!:D Shit i down 5000 calories alr heh:D Nvm once a year^^ Thn aft eating 2 more cousins came back from work. By th time my house alr alot of ppl alr LOL.:D and omg we tricked my aunt:DD When we heard tht they are arriving thn we quickly ran outside t hide at th staircase there. Thn i ask them put all th shoes tht were previously in front of my house t th front of th staircase door there. Thn th tallest cousin block th staircase word on th door heh. Thn when they arrive.....

THEY REALLY ENTER LEHH! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS MY HOUSE:O DAMN FUNNY LAH I LAUGH LIKE MAD GOSH!xD

Thn we went swimming again though it was near 10;O they so early off th swimming pool lights lah thn damn dark and damnnnnnn colddd -brrrrrrrrrrrr- i just jumped in and shiver heh. Sounds damn stupid. Played until 11 plus super tired alr. Actually aft th first swim i was drained alr heh. Bt nvm how many chances like this do you get in a lifetime?:D Went back up and its near 12^^ heh aft tht found out who's my secret santa alr:D really thought it was choc bt who knows inside th box was my present heh:D super surprised lmao^^ THANKS (L)

k thn reached th main purpose of this post alr: TODAY.

Gosh you know sometimes life sucks? I really wished i was stuck at home everyday so i dont have t go out and see th outside world. Srsly super sad when things just got cancelled like tht. Just like tht and poof nothing(Y). Cant described how i felt when i saw tenth text bout this sunday. Gosh like now thn say? I really thought tht she could make it on tht day thts why it was on tht day. Thn now you tell me. Really felt like crying when i saw th text i have no idea why.

Gosh you all too cant you spare a thought for me? Always quarreling at inappropriate times its really frustrating in th morning and this had t happen. Thanks for making my day:D

Anw really thank you jwei and hsiaotien for being there when im down:D thanks loads (L)

{Shall be real nice and remove those parts:D}

//and i cried through th whole bus journey. felt much better. i expected you t understand yknow..

Wow really wonder how i pull through these days;O was really feeling like crap lah dont know why also. Perhaps is just tired or just cant be bothered t say anything. Went t th doc ytd i have been visiting th doc once a week im serious. When i walkd in th doc was like O.O you are back.:/ Bt anw im ok alr. So many things happen within such a short period of time:O hope things get better aft christmas:DD aft doc went t meet C for breakfast for a while. Was suppose t go t sch in th morning at like 715 bt have t go t th doc.:/ Wantd t tour th sch w C bt wasnt in my U so whatever dump tht idea:D Din really felt like eating though cause i was meeting ching later t do hw. She has a humongous and scary appetite i swear:O We went t eat kfc xiaolongbao and chewy junior for lunch. See this is alot k?:D i wantd icecream bt thn its like if i eat we really have t crawl back t th lib later.-.o!Went kiddy palace t fulfil my duty as th perfect secret santa:D Me and ching were laughing like mad there cause like there's this doll tht is like creepy and i accidentally pull th cap out:O thn i dont know how t put back LMAO damn funny. And stupid ching was like telling me how it would be like t be fainting and gasping at kopitiam cause we are so full and cant walk. And so i picture th image and i laugh like mad-.-

Went back t th lib aft lunch^^ heehee did maths and dont know what. I was slacking like mad (actually not) i finishd maths 2 ws:D finally though got blanks lah obviously-.- i dont rmb myself being tht smart:O so those out there btr come tutor me D; k thn i was so tired tht i slept in th lib for 15 mins:O and kept staring at my phone for texts bt thn my phone went flat. Ching continued being a mad woman at th lib. Oh did i tell you how #$%#@%$ i was cause like everywhere i see i saw rvians? WOW cant imagine next year at jp. A sea of uniforms D; keep laughing throughout ytd basically. Sorry for being so quiet in th morning cause i guess i was really zz out. Couldnt get into th mood. Somemore was super f up w hsiaotien bout _________ . Guess you havent check your touch for th text i left you heh although its nothing.^^ anw thanks for those texts even thought you couldnt recieve mine:O dumb stuff always happen at th wrong moment.-.- 

Cant wait t go out w cabbage on sat ♥ and also mafias on sunday (thats if they cn make it:/) i really miss them. Shimin and kimm cant make it on sat T_T nvm another day thn:D

//and i really dont know why im doing this. Just friends (with a smile). And i realise i dont know how t talk t you anymore. Im sorry:/

Gosh just went t ht blog. Was really sad aft reading it cause its like i suddenly wake up from my own world. This is th fact: Mr Chan is leaving and wont be conducting us for th concert. Couldnt do anything t stop him from leaving (like duh) so th best is t plan th best farewell tht he ever had:/ Hopefully. 3 years in this cca is coming t an end, as th 4th year approaches. Really wonder what lies in store for us.:/ 1 and th half more weeks and we are back in sch, back t our usual routine, back t more tears, back t more laughter, back t more disappointments. GPA 3.0, Year 4 Orientation, Big walk, Anniversary, New School, New tchers, Piano Exams, Camps, Concert (tentative) will i be able t handle all these? Sometimes i really wonder how i manage t pull through this year.

Today's rehearsal was a success for th tone poem:D just tht for th anniversary we got all messed up w th arrangements and stuff:/ th next rehearsals will be better. Was kinda sad when ht said she might be leaving string in year 5 aft syf. Cant imagine a cca session w/o her.:/ By th time we would have been friends for 5 years, and could say is my longest and best friend tht i cn ever wish for:/ Throughout these years nvr fail t confide in her about almost everything, not forgetting those crappy moments where we laugh our asses off:D Will really miss her if she leave:/

To you know who:

Things arent as easy as you expected. What do you expect out of 1 whole week of hard work from us? Those late nights doing proposals and stuff just t make this work out and this is th only appreciation you could give us? 1 week was th time limit tht we have t plan something such large scale. Th least you could do was t say thank you, and not say tht we din do our best:/ Yeah perhaps its our fault for not making it well, bt din you all enjoy yourself? Those results were disappointing. You all just threw them all back in our faces and make us feel like we are some losers and are suppose t slog for you. Its christmas! Time for appreciation.:D If nothing comes out nice from your mouth, thn just shutup

THANKS MAFIAS AND SELANG FOR TH CELEBRATIONS!!(L)

not forgetting those tht wrote on my fb wall and textd me:DD thanks ppl had had a great bday this year:D Finally decided t post something:D Was back from Shanghai 5 days ago. Had enormous fun there despite those little things:D LOVE ROOMIES ALOT cause we created hell (like srsly) behind those closed doors:D Every night gathered at kimm's room t watch shows and th most memorable one was th last night in nanjing, which we talked until very late th eleven of us:D Oh and was super shocked t see jwei there cause apparently before she left for Guangzhou (not sure:X) she told me she not coming cause she gt alot of places t go. Really believe her leh until she turned up at our room door:O I screamed and hugged her when i saw her. Cant blame me cause i was really really surprised. Missed her loads though. Very long nvr see her alr. Hahaha and she was amazed by our craziness cause she witnessed it herself. theShanghaiMafiaclique rock ass k?:D Love them t th max heh. Miss those times tht we had on th trip and will definitely look forward t th outings.:/ Felt kinda weird t be back in sg cause th temp difference and th sudden loneliness during mealtimes.:X Used t have 11 ppl on one table bt now only got like 4? So yeah:/ (Go kaching.onsugar.com for th details of th trip. Heh i lazy type:D) And i dont want t forget th times on th viking ship heh where th guys screamed like mad i dont know why:O Our 6 years pact is waiting t be fulfilled:D (and im counting:D)

Anw we had our first mafia outing (which was quite failed bt nevertheless fun:D) on friday. Only got 4 ppl, me tracy, C and feihon. Went t watch mulan which was okok. Din really like it cause very fast paced somemore some parts quite :O. Tracy freaked out cause she sat beside a stranger hahaha:D Too bad for her. Love scaring her though. Thn aft th movie trained t clementi t find my dad and sis for dinner. Thanks for accompanying me t clementi and for th present:D (oh and thanks ching:D for being there for me t rant LOL)

Went out w selang on sat (5/12) t celebrate my bday. They made me thought they were late lah! Thn i waited like an hour plus at CCK MRT platform for like an hour like tht before they came.(they were actually at lot 1 macs doing my stuff and i din know until th end of th day. Thanks for th preparation though:D) Went t koba t eat (again hahaha cause went there t eat w mafias ytd:/) bt nvm heh cause i ate different things:D Slack there and talked and laughed and dont know do what there before huijie came. Xuqin and huijie got me this gift w a spastic grin tht she and hj think looks like mine:O bt its super cute:D Super guilty for not getting them any cause cant really find a suitable one:/ Will get them something from taiwan.:D I thought xq they show favouritism cause ht gift have one more box below!!): hahaha thn in th end is my cake-.o! I din know at first thn when huijie arrived thn they ask me open tht thing. Thn i was like huh? Its ht one leh lol. In th end it turns out t be a cake:DD OMG! Love them loads:DD Went roof garden t cut cake and took alot of photos:D Couldnt find anything else t do so we went JP and walk and bought a clique phone strap/chain/etc tgt. All monkeys bt different poses:D it was CUTE CUTE CUTE!:O And its super funny cause i recieved two watches this year heh. Thanks anw:DD will wear it on alternate days:D Anw thanks again t my darling hsiaotien, xuqin, casper and huijie for spending this day w me:D

Sunday. Couldnt wait for th next day t come because it was finally another mafia outing!!! Ohman i had a terrible time at home looking forward t it:X I WANT T SEE THEM NOWNOWNOW! Stayd up until 2am t do up th frames for them. Worthwhile:D cause they like it:D though was very tired heh. Dont mind th ugly words k!!:D

Monday. Finally. Hohoho anw i lied t C and veron saying tht i cant come for th outing cause i got impt stuff on. Thn veron say she dont want go alr:O hahaha thn no choice have t tell her i coming lor. FAILED. Bt C believed heh bt th thing is tht it failed again cause of some reason. Gosh i must improve my skills:/ {Me Ching C Veron Char Tracy FeiHon in th morning} Anw bused t vivo w C in th morning t find them:O We were late bt not th latest:D hahaha. We ended up on th other side where ching they all are.So we walked all th way t harbourfront before i realise tht we cn walk by th busstop there-.- Thn we turn around and walked back-.- Srsly this is OMG! stupid hahaha. Wantd t go giant t buy food for picnic bt in th end it havent open. So.. we went t skygarden and play water!! hahaha was ALL WET before even going t Sentosa lah!! Veron's cam no batt so we went Canon t ask them help us charge.:D They are so nice heh. Went giant t buy towel and th stupid drink lah. So cheap bt thn its like sugar:O SUPER SUPER SWEET -shudders- Went sentosa aft collecting th camera thn headed t siloso t play water. Th water i swear was super cold (although not as cold as Shanghai's tap water:/) so i was like shivering like mad hahaha:O Played stupid games in th water hahaha like entanglement and stupid water fights:D Char din bring clothes lah hahaha. Thn she was T_T. Thn they covered me w sand up till th neck. Super ticklish:X Thn cant laugh cant move cant breathe cause th sand will crack heh. Aft th whole thing i still cannot get up lah cause it was very very heavy!!:O Char they pulled me up lol:X Those ppl beside were laughing T.T. And it stupidly rained twice when we were playing in th water. So had t get up:/ Went t bathe aft going t palawan and saw junbo there! So qiao lah he at some amazing race lol. FeiHon was busy looking at babes (just kidding) and he wantd t sunbathe. Bt th thing is he go put lotion-.- Dont know what he doing. Headache all th way t dinner no idea why and partly because of some reason so was quiet. (Im trying not t react t th way they talked k ching:/) Met Zs and kimyee at harbourfront for dinner. Kimm overslept on th train and took it all th way t tampines lah!!! OMG! Dinner at pizza hut thn kimyee was late. Thn she suddenly came in w a cake on her hand. I was O.O cause i was really stunned. I din cry ok though i almost did:X They sang me bday song there. LOVE YOU MAFIASSSSS!!! THANKS MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY!! Ordered a five course meal which cause 12.90++. They keep getting our orders wrong-.- thn th soup came all th way at th end. I ate until i want puke alr super full. Maybe also cause wasnt really concentrating on my meal throughout thts why. Watched feihon doing disgusting stuff t kimyee (fyi feihon is th 'father' of kimyee's babyyyyyy):D they are crazy lah. Super hilarious. Was quite sad din manage t star gaze though. Tracy had t go home early cause she flying off today t Taiwan:/ So ching accompanied her home thn char din stay for dinner. Thn left me veron C feihon zs and kimyee. So decided t go home early too): ok and th best part came...

kimyee (on th phone w me): OMGOMG!! THERES 2 MOONS TONIGHT LEH!! MUST GO SEE REALLY VERY PRETTY!:O

{meanwhile zs was on th phone talking t veron bout th same thing. So we were like o.o thn decided t go see. So we crossed th bridge t th int and see. Kimyee boarded 963 alr bt zs havent. So we saw him there}

Me, Veron, C, FeiHon: OMG REALLY GOT TWO MOON LEH!! SO COOL!

Zs: Yeah lah told your alr (something like tht)

FeiHon/Veron: OMG THERES ANOTHER ONE THERE! CAN YOUR SEE? OMG GOT 3 MOONS LEH!!

suddenly (aft a long while while we were fascinated by th 3 moons)..

C: THATS TH CABLE CAR THING LAH!!! YOU SEE GOT ONE MORE UP THERE. SOMEMORE ON TH SAME LINE!!

omg its super funny cause like we felt super dumb. Lucky no one crowd over t see if not we malu like siao. We all laughed like siao ohmygoodness until want cry. Veron also damn funny lah. Thn we calld Kimyee t scold her. LMAO she say she really thought it was moon-.- DAMN HILARIOUS OMG!

Sad t say that was th end of th day:/ Really wantd t stay longer bt cant lah:/ Hope th next outing is real soon though i have t fly off again:/

I MISS YOU JWEI, MAFIAS AND SHIMIN!): I WANT MAFIASSSSSSSS!!):

{01.12.09, I really really hope tht we wont forget this date. Cause in 6 years time, this is what keep us holding.:/}

GOSH i rmb my username t onsugar-.- apparently i took like 15 mins trying t log in though i rmb my password. Dumb right? I thought i would have t close this blog down before th expected deadline 3 months later lol.

Anw, today was awesome:D spent th whole day crapping with th so-not-greatest and was also busy running away from her scary fingers that threatened t poke me. She chase me and tickled me because im ABOVE GROUND WOOHOO! th awesome FTW:D

1 point t th AWESOME - 0 point t th so-not-greatest

and i kept laughing and laughing and laughing non stop dont know because of what and they say im stressed!! LOL. Thats so not true cn?xD Bt during cca was starting t feel stressed cause i realise there were many things waiting for me and cyn t do:/ have t get started somewhere though:O Thats why im discussing proposal with amanda now for orientation next year:/ oh gosh, hope it turns out fine. LETS WORK HARD TGT MAN!:D (and create a flood with th storm in our brain:D) Playing twice th 10 pages of tone poem is enough t set a person going srsly.

ignore me for i have gone bonkers:O and th so-not-greatest really spice up my sch life esp today which supposedly scare me with th ___________ although i was laughing when i saw cause i took it as a prank LOL. (wasnt really scared though. amused is a better word:/) STOP LAUGHING GIRL!

and im going t strangle th so-not-greatest for not replying me for some reasons. Gonna spamm you with fried chicken you dumb dumb.

unable t be here during tht very day. First time in many years for this chance